Monday, August 17, 2009

Oh, Google, you are so knowledgeable and a little dirty, too.

What Does Google Know About Me?

Type in "[your name] needs"
Jane needs to find an introduction to alcoholism so she can decide what aspect of the disease is most interesting to her.
The most interesting part to me right now is the drinking part.

"[your name] looks like"
Jane looks like the bride of Frankenstein.
I just had a baby! Wait, does that excuse work anymore?

"[your name] wants"
All Jane wants is a nice cup of tea.
Yes, yes I do.

"[your name] does"
This one didn't work well....it thought I was saying "Jane Doe's." Lots of legal shit.

"[your name] hates"
Jane hates child molesters.
Again, yes I do.

"[your name] asks"
Jane asks "Where have the scary vampires gone?"
Excellent question.

"[your name] likes"
Jane likes Dick.
Does google live in my brain??

"[your name] eats"
Jane eats sweets.
Only ALL THE TIME!

"[your name] wears"
Jane wears jeans.
(#2 was "Baby Jane wears a Burqa.")

"[your name] was arrested for"
Jane arrested for beating a woman.
This is entirely possible. The zoo lady, the neighborhood dog lady, the mother of the kid who pooped in the pool yesterday, the girl who called me a bitch at the bar that one time, and of course the step class instructor. All of these were very near misses.

"[your name] loves"
Jane loves Dick.
Sigh.

Now you try it!

4 comments:

Bre said...

OMG...those are hilarious.

R.J. & Heather said...

My best one: "Heather looks like a drag-queen Michael Jackson impersonator."

Ummm... so I am making that salon appointment today!

Dingo said...

I got "Dingo wants more cranberry sauce."

Sheri said...

Ok I did this. My best one-Sheri looks a playboy centerfold come to life!!!! Oh Yeah!!!